Archive | March, 2013

These two are (Beverly) Hilarious

31 Mar

Los Angeles Times Entertainment


G.I. Jane Retaliation wins Easter Weekend

31 Mar

You will be no priest to me

31 Mar

Hosea 4:6

My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge: because thou hast rejected knowledge, I will also reject thee, that thou shalt be no priest to me: seeing thou hast forgotten the law of thy God, I will also forget thy children.

Yeah I thought about that myself

31 Mar

Cardinal Sins

31 Mar

“Anyone who likes to fornicate is welcome in our church but don’t try wearing a funny hat in here like me. We will throw you out. We’re not kidding around. See our big guts we’re the only ones that can succeed in (here).”


The pain of war will not exceed the woe of aftermath

31 Mar

God Damned Soulless Fornicating Yankee Dogs

My Brother Artemis

31 Mar

In his own words Artemas said: Artemis was born lucky. And he was very lucky most of his life. He liked to play super-hero so he was Batman and I had to agree to be Robin. He liked to steal the blankets from me while we slept together in bed as children. He also liked to play the game of drawing images on my back and vice-verse and then the other was tasked with guessing what was drawn. He confessed to me one night while we lay together in bed that he had stolen a flashlight and a few other things from the store. I immediately went and told our parents of his thefts and he was forced to return them. On another night while I was still a preteen he asked me for anal sex and he said our cousin Mary had agreed to it, so so should I. I firmly told him I would agree to no such thing. When we were a little older we would turn off the lights in the room and we would try to find each other and wrestle in the dark. We got in numerous wrestling fights and if I ever got the upper hand he would always find a way to exact revenge on me.

One day he came running home with his hand bloody from a cut with blood coming out in great gushes and it was learned that he had tried to break into an old chicken coop building with sports equipment next to the grammar school. He had a bow and arrow and would lure birds into the backyard with bread crumbs and try to shoot then. I saw him put an arrow through a black bird one morning. He became a snake collector and had a bull snake for awhile as a pet in a wooden crate made for it until it bit him, later on he kept boa constrictors as pets. I friend of mine I knew at NTSU never forgave him for stealing his poncho in sixth grade and claimed he was nothing but a mean bully. One day I saw him coming out of the shower nude by accident and he was angry and embarrassed. He had exactly half of his foreskin left from birth. I know that because I heard our mother Demeter discussing that in lawn chairs in the front yard of our house one summer afternoon with our neighbor Mrs Clothier. He liked to make cinnamon toast with great gobs of butter and sugar, drink spiced tea and watch movies and professional wrestling shows late into the night. When he was into his late teens he would sleep till noon on weekends even when he didn’t come home late from work. For a while he worked as a cook and a bartender at night at a local Mexican Restaurant. I worked for his boss at one other restaurant nearby just one night grinding pig fat into lard. Not long after that, before the advent of urine screens for drugs he joined the U.S. Navy as a submariner and he soon began writing home about the horrors of drug abuse there. I was alarmed and took a bunch of his letters and wrote various congressman and senators. Most wrote back saying that they were alarmed also and would look into the matter. He didn’t last there but came home, married and had many children and spent the most of the rest of his life working for the same company our biological father, the Duke of Cornwall had worked for, National Cash Register or as it became known as NCR. He had two accidents with all terrain vehicles and broke his neck both times, the last time in 2010 they went ahead and gave him a witches’ brew of drugs to stop his heart because they said he became practically or totally brain dead.